I apologize in advance for this joke, but remember...I'm bored

This joke is from my friend,
Trisha, a real live So. Cal. Hillbilly!

Never Choke in a restaurant in the South

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite
to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a
sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so,
it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of
the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress,
yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt
cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked
that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out
of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly
walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there
'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

Top 10 things I am starting to miss

10. Clean laundry

9. A clean house

8. Working in my flower bed

7. Cooking dinner

6. Shopping

5. Playing on my laptop

4. Working at the church

3. Sleeping all night

2. Dancing with & being twirled by Jeff

#1 Carrying and holding my Violet Girl

Still in a holding pattern

yep, it's me again. Dear friends if I can be so bold as to ask... please pray for me, more specifically my arm. Because, this is starting to get old.

Just can't post.

That's me. I really can't post until after next Wednesday, Dr.'s orders 'no using my right arm'. And since I am a cheater at heart, I am just not going to post at all, because I will use it. I am going to ask that you follow Jill's blog for a few days to keep up with us and our family until then. Thanks to you all for your great support.
Julie

Do horses go to heaven?

I am not suppose to be typing. Strict orders about my shoulder, but I could not let this go without sharing it with you. So, shhhhh on the 'illegal typing'.

Tonight Jeff and I went to the visitation for my nephew, Michael at the funeral home. The place was packed with family and friends. It was a precious sight to see. As Jeff and I stood, saying our last goodbyes to Michael, a little girl about 7 or 8 came up to us. She didn't know me, but I recognized her right away. She was the spitting image of her mother, Lisa, who is Michael's older cousin on his mother's side. The little girl came and stood between us and Michael and then looked at Michael and looked closely at us and said, "are you friends of his?" I said, "I am his Aunt Julie, his daddy's sister." She said, "Oh." And then paused for a second, "Did you know that Michael's horse also died in the accident?" I said, yes. Then she said the sweetest thing I will probably ever hear. This little girl said something profound. She said, "I am so happy that Michael knew Jesus and asked Him into his heart so now he can live in heaven. I think he is probably riding his horse right now and he is happy."

I really can't add anything to that. God is good and loving and gracious and even this little girl can see that. Oh, that we could all have the trust and certainty of a little child.

Gone Too Soon...Why?

Last night, my nephew left this world and went to heaven. That sounds so crazy to say. It reminds me of that Kenny Chesney song, Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go now.

I remember when Michael was born, we called him our little Spook because he was born the day before Halloween. Jill couldn't say Michael and she called him "Guy kul". I also remember how incredibly proud my brother was of his first born child. Michael was the cutest little boy, even won some kind of contest for being so darn cute.

Last night, the question on every one's lips whether voiced or not was, why? His mother even said to me, why? I know that she didn't expect me to have the answer, it's just what people say when things like this happen. All I could think to say was, I don't know why God would ask this of you. But I know that because He has, He will give you the strength to get through it. It sounds so simple to say and I almost felt like I needed to apologize for giving her such a 'kindergarten type' of answer. But, that's all I know for sure. When tragedy strikes, sometimes only God in His infinite wisdom knows the 'why'. And I am reminded that God is not the author of our pain, He doesn't plan our hurt, but sometimes He allows it. Why? To bring us closer to Him. Plain and simple.

My pastor has this saying, when tragedy comes, it will do one of two things. It will either make you bitter, or it will make you better. Today, Michael is rejoicing with the angels. So our job is to celebrate his life, honor his memory and glorify his God. Because through Him our reunion is possible and guaranteed.

I would covet your prayers for Michael's parents, his brother, his wife and daughter and countless friends and family who are grieving his passing.
Michael Williams
October 30, 1984 - October 20, 2008

Do Horses Go to Heaven? more about Michael's passing.

The Circus

8 tickets to the circus = $160.00
1 program = $2.00
1 popcorn, 2 bags of cotton candy & 3 sodas = $25.00
1 spinning, whirling, light up thingie = $10.00
1 ride on an elephant = $16.00
watching Violet ride an elephant and then call it a dog... priceless!

Shoulder Update

Ok, I have gotten an x-ray and two shots in my shoulder and it still hurts. Time still might heal all, but, only time will tell and apparently 'time' isn't talking to me just yet. Not sure where we will go from here if this doesn't work. I have a renewed and deep heartfelt sympathy for anyone living with chronic pain. ~Warning. Never spend 3+ years (or even 1 day) working with your keyboard on top of your desk, because one day when you're not expecting it, out of the clear blue... BAM! It's gonna HURT.

PS...

My children are driving me crazy! All four of them have some kind of issue today. It feels like I have been in a land slide. I was 12 minutes late picking Jaley up from school and she informed me that if this continues by the end of the school year year she will have wasted 56 minutes waiting on me. Seriously, I mean seriously did she really say that? I have wasted years waiting on her. And Jordan has burned 3 sheet pans of chocolate chip cookies in a row... I gotta go and throw open the back door now before the smoke alarm goes off. Oh crud, that means I have to keep Olive at bay while the smoke clears. Wish me luck!

My Job as the 'Church Lady'

What exactly do I do? I joke and say I am the 'Church Lady'. I am a child of the 70's and Saturday Night Live was big then, maybe bigger than it is now. It's pretty crude these days or maybe I am slightly more refined than I was in the 70's. I still think it can be pretty funny, so remember I said slightly more refined. Ok, I got off track. I do that from time to time. I skip around from one topic to the next without ever missing a beat. So pay attention and keep up. Perhaps I have ADD, but I don't think so. I think that's just the way creative people operate. Also, I think that I am the most least likely person you would ever find in a church. I was a heathen, born and bred until God got a hold of me and cleaned me up from the inside out. I joke and say it even took me two baptisms to get clean. Back to the subject at hand. I work at a church. I work at the same church that I rode the bus to on Sundays mornings as a little girl. As a young mother I brought my children here. Myself and all my girls were baptized at this church. My dad, mother and father-in-law were laid to rest here. I have a lot of history at this church. And for the past 6+ years, I have worked here. My job is to make things look... pretty or edgy or classic. Whatever the case may be. I manage the website, make graphics, logos, posters, etc. So you say why does your blog look so... generic? Because I have an extremely busy job. And remember I am typing with one hand most of the time these days. Still have that injured shoulder remember? My kids think I don't do anything at work. They always say your job is easy. I will have to admit that working at a church is so much harder than I ever thought possible. It is stressful and everything is personal. Why is that? I guess because everything has such a potential for significance. My job as menial as it is, still has the potential to help change lives. If only in a very small way. I am blessed to be able to serve my Savior daily and get paid to do it. I only wish I always deserved it. But that's the great thing about God, He gives us what we don't deserve instead of what we do deserve.

Collecting...

I don't think I have shared this with you yet, but my husband and I are obscessed. We are... Collectors. I mean, we got it bad.

Here is one more tale from our Arkansas weekend.

On Saturday afternoon Jeff and I were wondering about this little antique mall and I came upon this little chair. I knew that I wanted it right away and the price was right, it was only $35. It needed to be cleaned and the vinyl seat cover needed to be replaced, but other than that it is in perfect condition. And it was one of my favorite styles an Emeco Office Chair. Upon further inspection I realized that it was an authentic Emeco chair. It still bore the metal label and the paper label under the cushion. Yippee! I couldn't recall at the time what the chair was actually worth, but I knew it to be well over $400. So, yep we threw that puppy in the car. Today I am cleaning up my new chair and went to the Emeco website to see what kind of fabric I needed to get to recover the seat, thinking it would be leather. Nope the originals are covered in vinyl and a new chair today will set you back around $800! I know what you are saying... this is a vintage chair and it will not be worth that. Wrong. These chairs are classics and are made of polished aluminum, virtually indestructible. They have not gone out of style since they were first made in the 1950's. They have a life expectancy of 150 years. They are classic and retro at the same time. Beautiful.

One more revelation about this weekend ...

I will never step foot in a port-a-potty again! NEVER. In Hicksville they are called a "Willie Makeit". Seriously. And in most cases, Willie did not.

Home Sweet Home

Our whirwind road trip is over. We had a great time. The weather was beautiful. Glad to come home and see our girls.

Arkansas Female Phenomenon

It is incredible the number of women I have encountered here in Arkansas that are missing their front teeth. Is it some kind of weird phenomenon or is it hereditary? Is it a strange coming of age ritual? I don't know. I am assuming it is the lack of affordable dental care. So I wonder... is it just that they don't have the funds to take proper care of their teeth? As I contemplate this I am reminded that I saw all of these women ranging in age from teens to 50's or so, in a festival that required a $15 per day admission. And most of them held a beer in one hand and cigarette in the other, which in Jeff's words would put their 'sin tax' at about $10. So they are not completely without disposable income. I am mystified by this. Jeff says that where he works, which is a prominent and very large factory, where the benefits and pay are good. That there are people walking around all over the place with severe dental problems. Let me make this clear this employer provides 100% preventative dental care and free cleanings and exams every 6 months. There is no need to go without. It is starting to look like a 3rd world country or something. Are people really that frightened of the dentist that they would rather walk around with no front teeth than to go see the dentist? Do we need to start a national ad campaign regarding our front teeth? I am telling you if you could see the women I have seen in the past 2 days it would break your heart. It is extremely sad. Jeff says these gals prefer not to have their front teeth, instead they like their 'cigarette holder'. I know he is only joking. In fact here is a joke he told me. - What do you get when you get 32 Arkansas women in one room? A full set of teeth.

Oh my goodness. What is going on here in Hicksville? I am not making fun of or criticizing these poor souls, but come on people. This is completely treatable, right? Missing your front teeth isn't good for your body, your mind or you soul.

Music Fest, Day 2

Tonight we are going to hear Shooter Jennings (Waylon's boy) & John Anderson, along with some new ones we hope to become fans of. Last night we heard a couple of really good bands like Reckless Kelly out of Austin and Will Davis' Shady Caballeros (weird name, great group). Let me first say that all the good guys are coming out of Austin! WhooHoo!

This festival is a little unusual. We are use to Main St. Art Fest in FW. It is big, I guess it is true that everything is bigger in Texas. Let me first say that El Dorado is a small Arkansas town, and you can see that the downward economy has taken it's tole here. But they are putting on these festivals in this quaint little area of old downtown and it is incredible. They aren't drawing the crowds like they would in Texas, but the sponsors are doing a good job of footing the bill. Main St., El Dorado is quaint and adorable and the perfect venue for a festival. I am just amazed that they are putting these on and so successfully, because the crowds are so small. It is truly amazing. The festival vendors leave a little to be desired. There are only about 5 food vendors and maybe that many retail vendors. Not much to buy in that area unless you want a do-rag. You can purchase roasted corn on the cob for 3 ears for $5! Crazy. The weather has been a beautiful 75.

More about my arm. I have what my dr is calling severe tendinitis. I am to begin therapy next week as well as have an x-ray. He has asked that I tie it up in a sling whenever possible. Not much fun. And it hurts like the dickens. I am on a pretty strong anti-inflammatory so it doesn't allow for an pain killers. Yikes. So, this is a good weekend to be gone. No reason to lift anything except my Diet Dr. Pepper and I can do that quite well with my left hand. What I really want to be holding is my Violet girl, but she's in FW and I'm in Hicksville with a sore arm. Just as well I suppose. ok, this typing with one hand is taking forever. Gotta run now, Pale plays at 6:30 and they are suppose to be pretty good.

El Dorado MusicFest, XXI

Road Trips, Kenny Wayne and Chile Rellenos

I am writing this from a lovely hotel room in El Dorado, Arkansas. I know that sounds like an oxy-moron to all of you that have actually been to El Dorado, AR. But it is a very nice room at the Hampton Inn. I am sitting here at my laptop trying to get some work done while Jeff is looking for an antique shop. At breakfast this morning we read the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, ok it is official we are in Hicksville, USA. I have come to a couple of realizations in the past 24 hours:
1) I do not particularly care for road trips anymore. Jeff and I have decided that if we are going to travel 5 hours we want to be in Northern California or Southern Florida.

2) You should never... let me make that perfectly clear. NEVER. Eat a Chile Rellenos in any state other than Texas or possibly New Mexico. Hence the name Tex-Mex. It should be illegal to even have them on the menu. For some unknown reason I had one in North Texas and one in Arkansas yesterday. And neither one was any good. So let me restate that, Never eat one North of Denton! Period. ~ Disclaimer. I feel that I am a chile rellenos authority, I am only telling you this because I have your best interest at heart. So when in doubt of your geographical location, just don't do it. :)

3) I think everyone smokes in Arkansas.

4) Kenny Wayne Shepard puts on a fabulous show and he alone was worth the drive. We knew that before we came and that is why we suffered through the rest. God Bless Kenny Wayne Shepard!

That's all for now. I have work to do. I do have a few other revelations to share with you, so maybe later.

Bye from Arkansas!
Julie

ps - I am writing this one handed because my right arm is now in a sling. Ouch!