Violet's Fairy Garden

Ok, so I posted a while back that I wanted to make a fairy garden with Violet.  Jeff got the entire 3 day weekend off and we decided to make the fairy garden on Easter Sunday while Violet was here.  We did most of our shopping on Friday and I picked up a few more things on Saturday.  And later in the day Jill and Violet made a surprise visit. So, even though Jeff was tilling up a section in the backyard for our new garden, he took time off to come and help with Violet's Fairy Garden.

First, we rounded up a container.  I had this very, very old galvanized wash tub that we had just taking up space in on the back porch.  Then we thought it needed to be up a bit higher, so we used the stand to a broken chiminea.  And voila',  perfect!

Next, we started planting.  We used Scottish moss and a low growing,creeping Thyme for the lawn.  A Rosemary tree, some spiney grass, and a fern for the bushes.  A few other small plants to finish it out.

Then we used pebbles and river rocks for the path around the pond.  Which was Violet's favorite part.

Then it was time for a popsicle break!  Gardening is hard work.

Then we needed to add a garden shed and water well.  Just the right size for fairies.

Violet loved tossing pebbles into the pond.  She said can we go swimming now?  Then she said the funniest thing... I fink I need a water fairy.  So, you know what happened then.  Gigi took off to Wal-mart to find some fairies.  I found a set of 5 including Tink (Violet's favorite) that are just the perfect size.  First thing, she took them all swimming in the pond!

We played and played until the evening bugs drove us inside.  So how much did this little project cost?
Plants:  $36 - Green's Produce
Container:  Free
Pebbles & Stones:  $3 - on sale @ Michael's
House, wheelbarrow & well:  $16 - Hobby Lobby
Fairies:  $10 - Wal-mart
I am sure I could have saved that $16 and made the house and such, but... I knew I didn't have time for that, so the convenience for me to go ahead and purchase the items was worth it.

First home improvement project:  A fence.  Made from twigs and a glue gun.We are now working on a toadstool and a very tiny garden gnome.

Violet's Fairy Garden!

We had soooo much fun creating this little garden for and with our precious grandgirl, who by the way is going to be a big sister! Some of my friends have started calling me Super G.  I love it.  That is my goal, to be the best Grandmother I could possibly be. I am very blessed.

I love you still

I awoke from a dream this morning, I was dreaming of you.  I dreamed that you had abandoned me... again.  Old hurts sometime remain, under the surface, I guess.  I didn't even realize that today was your birthday.  I know that last year it came and went before I remembered it.  I miss you. I might have forgotten your birthday, but I have never forgotten you.

Your hatred for me as a child is well known by many but, I loved you still.  You were my mother.  You did not protect your children, and as our mother you should have.  You spent my childhood blaming me for your mistake.  Openly saying you wish you had prevented my birth and that you hated me.  I have tried desperately to forget how you berated and abused me and in the end disowned me. I have come to realize that I have not walked in your shoes, not cried your tears, nor felt your loneliness or your heartache for lost love.  I forgive you Momma, I love you still. 

Some of my friends, and now anyone that would read this will know, that I do not remember my life before the age of 12.  God is gracious like that.  I have no desire to uncover those memories, He has cast them aside as far as the East is from the West.  I know bits and pieces as told to me by my 5 siblings, and that is enough.  And a hand full that return from the few photos I have.  Years ago during a counseling session, my therapist told me that as my children reached certain ages, it could trigger memories of me at that age, and yes it did.  Mostly unpleasant, but some were wonderful.  You taught me to make a skirt when I was only 6 years old, it even had a zipper.  I can sew and I can sew well, and that is because of you.  I love my family desperately, and that too is because of you.  I gave my life to Jesus and brought my children up to know Him, and that in a strange way is your doing too.  I ached and cried out in my soul to be different from you and that led me straight to Him.

And then you disowned me, October, 2001.  Why?  I saw you many times in stores around town, you would look straight at me and then turn away, like I was nothing, no one.  It broke my heart.   I saw you several years later at Jeremy's wedding, you looked unwell.  Teresa encouraged me to speak to you, I did.  I  told you how I missed you, how much I loved you, how I wanted us to not be at odds against each other any more.  You made a scene at the wedding, you told me you didn't want to have anything to do with me, that you hated me.  Why?  I remember a few months before you died, I saw you in Walmart in the check-out lane.  I remember I stood behind a display rack about 20 feet away and just watched you, listened to your voice as you spoke with the cashier, and the little girl inside me cried out to her mother, I love you still.

In December, 2005,  I received a phone call that you were gone.  I was devastated, no more time to make amends, no more second chances.  No more I love yous.  But, the caller was mistaken and you were indeed alive, but only barely.  When I got to the hospital as ill as you were you remembered that you were mad at me.  It was difficult, heart breaking.  But, as a few moments ticked by you softened towards me.  You told me you loved me and I you.  You told me you had always loved me and were very proud of me. .... and then you were gone.  I had waited 42 years to hear those words and then you were gone.  No more second chances, no happy ending...just gone, but you loved me still!

I think you had known Him for sometime, your sister told me as we were preparing for your funeral how you came to know Him.  What happened?  Why did you turn your back on Him?  I have over time thought about it, and I have an idea in my mind.  I think you were angry, so angry that you blamed yourself and you blamed Him.  And because of that you would not accept His love for you, you couldn't forgive yourself for what you had done and you couldn't forgive others, but He loved you still.

I know that I have not always treated you with respect, and many times I got what I deserved from you.  I was a smart mouth kid, but my children and I did nothing to deserve being disowned by you for 5 long years.  You cheated my girls out of a grandmother, and now that I am one, that is unacceptable.  But, also now that I am one, I realize that you suffered a greater loss by not knowing them.  I am grieved by that, but.... they love you still.

There are many similarities between our relationship and the one we share with God.  We abuse Him, mistreat and ignore Him, but He loves us still and He is always ready to forgive and give us a second chance.  I was not always that forgiving towards you, but I came to understand that through His forgiveness, I too must forgive.  I am ever grateful that your last words were that you knew Him, believed in Him and would see us again, You loved Him still!

Don't for one second believe that it was easy for me to write this or to learn to forgive my mother.  It has only been by the grace of God that I am able to do both and it has taken a long time to do so.  And to never share this part of my life would be to never share how God used it for the better.  I have always loved my mother and I know now that she has always loved me and because of God's grace, inspite of ourselves, HE LOVES US STILL.

I miss you more than words can say & love you still,




Him:  Jesus, our Savior & Redeemer

Magic & Whimsy

Ok, I really don't believe in magic, but I that doesn't mean I don't think things need to be magical.  Like weddings, childhood & love stories.  We didn't have lots of money when our children were small (still don't for that matter), but I tried my best to make things special & maybe even magical for our girls.

I remember the first time Jill, Jordan & Justine saw Willie Wonka.  I bought each of them a giant chocolate bar and gave it to them and told them they couldn't open it until Charlie found the golden ticket.  They sat there anxiously awaiting the moment that Charlie found the golden ticket.  Their bars were beginning to melt because they held them so tightly.  With each bar that Charlie opened they would begin to tear theirs open only to be disappointed that he hadn't yet found the ticket.  Then when he did, their excitedly opened their bars.  They were so cute.

Then there was the first time we took them to Disney World.  I remember asking Jeff, if I can make enough money can we go to Disney World for New Years?  It was late September at the time.  He said sure, I mean seriously... I didn't have a real job, only my little craft business, so there really wasn't much chance I could do it.  I don't even think we even knew anyone personally who had ever been to Disney World, it seemed like such a far off dream.  But, I worked hard, planned and scrimped and on a shoestring budget of $1200, we took 6 people for 6 days to WDW and stayed in a Disney park!  I remember watching Justine at the tender age of 5 staring up at Minnie in the Light Parade, her eyes as big as saucers... "I love you Minnie", she said. Jill & Jordan watched wide-eyed as Beauty danced with the Beast and of course Jaley toddling along mostly afraid of every character, but the trip was precious & priceless & magical.

One year my brother, dressed as Saint Nick banged on their window and they screamed with excitement and that visit convinced them to believe for several more years.  There are lots of little memories including birthdays and picnics and many of the magical moments moments are the ones the girls created for us and each other. 

What started this whole magic post?  I found this little blog it has directions for making a magical fairy garden.

It reminded me of the time  Jordan made and painted a fairy door for Jaley.  She wanted to put it in her room.  It was so cute and magical and full of whimsy.   I think I am definitely going to have to make one for Violet.  I am excited to share fun times with her and then she can be my little partner when more grandbabies are added to the family.  My goal:  to be the world's best, funnest and most magical GiGi!  Sounds kinda selfish when I put it like that.... doesn't it?  It's all about making magic and whimsy and happiness for those same four little red head girls....and their children!  So really, not much has changed.